


Aftermath

by Gracefanfics



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Cheating, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulative Camille Belcourt, Mentioned Abuse, Right now it's just hurt, Well eventual comfort and healing, aftermath of abusive relationships, anyone who says she wasn't abusive can fight me, camille is a bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-18 02:53:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12379398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gracefanfics/pseuds/Gracefanfics
Summary: the aftermath of Camille's relationship with Magnus, as told by his closest friends.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Characters aren't mine. 
> 
> updates happen when I have new material. 
> 
> Not edited. 
> 
> what even are time lines. Not something I know clearly. Because I wrote Magnus dating Camila for a century.

Catarina knows something is not quite right when she gets back from the hospital. She's only home because she had been forced to after working a three shifts in a row. A part of her pangs at the thought that if Magnus was still in her life he would have dragged her and ragnor away from their work before they collapsed in exhaustion. The both of them were too involved in their work. Without Magnus… she shoved thoughts of her old friend away. Along with the hurt that came with them. She was too tired to be thinking about Magnus. And it had almost been a century since she had seen him. He had more than enough time and resources to return any number of her and ragnar's attempts to reach out to their friend. Anyway. There was an intruder in her home. This was no time for wandering thoughts.

Slowly she stepped into the front room, expecting some sort of fight. What she did not expect was to see Magnus, curled up on the window seat. Knees pulled up to his chest, as if he was trying to make himself smaller, looking out the window. Catarina was very familiar with this position. She had seen enough children with too many bruises do the same at the hospital. She had seen Magnus do it before. Once in the middle of his blacked out drunkenness after that Peru boy broke up with him. When he had stopped mid insane act to brokenly ask why everyone always left. It was also the time he had told her and ragnor about his parents. It couldn't be good. If he was here, sitting in the dark, like this. After a century of no contact.  
“Magnus?” She asked in disbelief. Wondering if she was actually hallucinating from exhaustion.  
“Hi cat.” He replied. Voice toneless and dead.  
“Magnus! Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened? It's been a century since I saw you! You don't write ! You don't visit! You never come to the door when I visit! And really Magnus I know we're immortal but a century is far too long to ignore your friends!” The words seem to pour out of her mouth. Her tired state forgotten. 

The was a brief pause before magnus responded, with none of his usual flare. Instead she got a quiet “you visited?”  
“Of course we visited! Ragnor and I both!” She almost shouted.  
“I'm sorry. I didn't know.”  
Hearing that felt like she had been slammed into a brick wall. “You didn't know? But your wards…”  
Magnus shrugged, trying not to let his breath hitch. “Camille or her servant always answered the door. They always insisted that it wasn't you. “  
Catarina could feel dread trickle into her gut. The idea of what that meant. Camille who for the first dozen or so times was so sweet. Explaining how Magnus had just ran off. And of course I'll let him know you called. Camille who had comforted her when she explained that Magnus didn't want to see either her and ragnor again. Spinning tales that sounded just enough like Magnus that in her hurt state had fought it but. If Magnus didn't know they had visited. If Camille made him doubt his own wards his. His own magic. Then oh god. This whole time...and she had let Camille drive her away from her friend. Catarina forcibly put a lid on her spiraling thoughts and panic. She would send a fire message to ragnor. Much much later the three of them would talk about how they were driven apart. For now though. She had a patient who was shaking in distress. Right now. Magnus needed her.


	2. Chapter 2

Caterina had visited. Ragnor had visited. Visited often. The thoughts circled Magnus's head. Drowning out everything else. They had visited. Had reached out to him. He hadn't returned the favor. Hadn't contacted them. Had Not wrote. Why hadn't he checked? And Camille had lied to him about it. 

Magnus wasn't sure how long he was trapped under the swirling of his thoughts. But he was brought back some time later, still night, Magnus found himself in caterina’s arms. It felt odd. So different from when Camille hugged him. He wasn't sure how to react. Was no longer sure what was allowed and what wasn't. So he didn't. Unknowingly breaking his friends heart with his inaction. 

Caterina, after hours of holding Magnus, helped him to his room (they all had rooms in each other's houses.) had sat with him until he had fallen asleep. She had then quietly gotten up, working on automatic as she wrote ragnor a fire message   
Magnus showed up tonight. It's bad ragnor. He didn't even know we had tried to visit. Come as soon as you can.   
-cat   
She then tried to make tea afterwards. It ended up pressing a hand to her mouth instead, in order to muffle her sobs. Magnus had always been so full of life despite a lifetime of heartbreaks. He always bounced back. She didn't know he could possibly recover from something that took that life away. From something that had made him quiet and passive. She didn't know how any of them would recover from this. Centuries of healing skills seemed useless in that moment


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates!!!!!

Magnus was quiet the next morning when he shuffled out the next morning. Cat was still sitting at the counter. Tea still unmade.

“morning magnus.” cat forced some cheer into her voice. She did not think she was successful. 

“hi cat” Magnus replied. His attempt at a smile falling just as flat as her attempt to sound positive did. 

“would you like some tea? Breakfast? “

“I don't want to be any trouble” Magnus was still standing awkwardly in the doorway. Catarina wouldn't be surprised if he started to shuffle his feet. It sent a fresh stab of heartbreak through her. She couldn't help but compare everything her friend did to how he use to act. It made her want to cry all over again. Instead she forced herself to act as she always did. 

“don't be silly Magnus. Breakfast is important you know. And sit down. The stools don't bite you know.” 

Catarina wasn't sure what she thought acting normal would accomplish, but she hadn't expected Magnus to flinch. Which is what he did. 

“sorry. “ he muttered and slinked to the kitchen table before taking a seat.   
/////////

Magnus studied his hands as catarina busied herself with making breakfast and tea. God he was such an idiot. Just standing there until catarina had to tell him to sit down! He didn't even offer to help! 

See? His mind whispered to him this is why no one likes you. You're a stupid useless bother. 

He jumped when catarina set down a plate of scrambled eggs, before taking a seat herself. God what was wrong with him? It was just catarina. 

Do you want the list in alphabetical order? He joked to himself. 

Magnus forced himself to eat some of the food, despite the increasing feeling of nausea. Catarina had taken the time to make him breakfast. It would be incredibly rude not to eat it. 

The two are In strained silence. Magnus too caught up in his thoughts, Catarina too unsure how to breach the silence since acting normal clearly wasn't the answer. 

“Magnus. “ catarina spoke up when they were close to finishing. “ I would like to exam you after breakfast. “ if nothing else, she could ensure her friend was physically okay at least. when in doubt, fall back onto medicine. And she was very much in doubt. 

“you don't have to, there's nothing wrong.” Magnus replied. 

Catarina chose to ignore the fact that Magnus probably believe nothing was actually wrong. She didn't think she could handle that. “please?” she asked. “for my own peace of mind?” 

Magnus hesitated for a moment before nodding. “okay, but only if you're sure you don't have anything else to do. It's just going to waste your time.” 

“ I have the next couple days off. “ catarina lied. As if she would actually leave her friend alone this way. She could afford to take time off until Ragnor arrived. Then they could tag team him. Hopefully he would know what to do. Or at least a better idea than herself. 

“oh okay then.” Magnus replied. “but you won't find anything “ 

Catarina waved her hands and banished the dishes. “up on the table, clothes off please.” 

Magnus slowly undressed and carefully folded his sleep shirt and breaches before coming around to sit in front of catarina. 

Catarina tried to ignore her heart sinking once again. The old Magnus would have teased her shamelessly about how she just wanted to get him naked. This Magnus was passive, and small. She hates it. 

Carefully she checked him over. The only wound she could find was two puncture marks in his neck. They looked liked they had been forcibly open many times. 

“did Camille feed from you magnus?”

“she likes warlock blood. “ Magnus shrugged one shoulder as he replied. “I didn't mind sharing.” 

“Magnus, this looks like it was never given the chance to heal or treated at all. It's definitely infected. I'm going to have to cut the infection out, then apply witches and wrap it.”

Magnus just looked at her, he was in willing to admit that in the months Camille had been gone, magnus had picked open the wound daily. He had thought that Camille would return, and she had hated having to break his skin again, not when the puncture holes already existed. Magnus had wanted to be good for her. It wasn't a big deal. 

“Magnus. “ catarina said a little sharply. “is that okay? I don't want the infection spreading. “

“it's fine.” He told her.   
////////

Catarina was just finishing wrapping a bandage around Magnus’s neck and shoulder when her bell rang. It was early afternoon now, if could be the hospital wondering where she was, it could be a random person, either way magnus needed rest and this was a good opportunity to ensure that he actually got some. 

“magnus?” she asked gently, her friend unnaturally passive and still. She would have to check on him frequently, to make sure he didn't go into shock. “let's get you into bed.”

He let her move and guide him without reacting. And catarina felt her heartbreak all over again. How many times had that happened just this morning? 

She led him back to his room and moved him onto the bed. “get some rest okay?”

Catarina fled before he could answer, there was only so much she could take and after all there was a guest at the door. She reached for her wards to check and didn't bother composing herself when it showed ragnor at the door. Thank God. 

“Ragnor!” she gasped as she opened the door. “Thank God. Magnus is a mess. And I have no idea what to do. I have already used up all of my medical excuses for comfort. And…” she cut herself off when Ragnor pulled her into a hug. Shocked at how much she needed the comfort, and that he was actually hugging. Ragnor wasn't one to show mushy affection. 

“you have to let yourself feel the horror, cat.” He told her, softly. Giving her a squeeze before pulling back. “ now where is our old it friend?”

“resting. I had to cut an infection out of a wound he had.” 

Ragnor winced in sympathy. “well you better let me in. And tell me all about it before he wakes up.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter! 
> 
> There will probably be at least one more update today

Catarina was just finishing wrapping a bandage around Magnus’s neck and shoulder when her bell rang. It was early afternoon now, if could be the hospital wondering where she was, it could be a random person, either way magnus needed rest and this was a good opportunity to ensure that he actually got some. 

“magnus?” she asked gently, her friend unnaturally passive and still. She would have to check on him frequently, to make sure he didn't go into shock. “let's get you into bed.”

He let her move and guide him without reacting. And catarina felt her heartbreak all over again. How many times had that happened just this morning? 

She led him back to his room and moved him onto the bed. “get some rest okay?”

Catarina fled before he could answer, there was only so much she could take and after all there was a guest at the door. She reached for her wards to check and didn't bother composing herself when it showed ragnor at the door. Thank God. 

“Ragnor!” she gasped as she opened the door. “Thank God. Magnus is a mess. And I have no idea what to do. I have already used up all of my medical excuses for comfort. And…” she cut herself off when Ragnor pulled her into a hug. Shocked at how much she needed the comfort, and that he was actually hugging. Ragnor wasn't one to show mushy affection. 

“you have to let yourself feel the horror, cat.” He told her, softly. Giving her a squeeze before pulling back. “ now where is our old it friend?”

“resting. I had to cut an infection out of a wound he had.” 

Ragnor winced in sympathy. “well you better let me in. And tell me all about it before he wakes up.” 

////////

Catarina started to make Ragnor tea before he stopped her. 

“don't do that. I am English I brought my own tea and I will make the tea from now on.”

Catarina’s laugh came out sounding wet. But honestly she was so glad that he was making jokes. She couldn't help but wonder if he would still be able to after he saw their friend?

“I always forget what a snob you are.” She forced herself to joke back. 

“I'm not being a snob” he denied. “everyone who is not British just makes tea wrong. Especially you Americans.”

Catarina suck her tonage out at him. “ just because we don't have the time to spend an hour making tea every time we want a drink doesn't mean we make it wrong!”

“it doesn't take an hour!” Ragnor protested outraged. And spent the rest of the prep time muttering about ignorant Americans. Catarina let him, she missed their third part, who would have poked both sides and snubbed all of western culture together. It was a familiar conversation that happened every single time the three of them were together. On one memorable occasion magnus had made a drinking game out of it. Everytime Ragnor mentioned tea or ignorant Americans, drink. Everytime Catarina mentioned snobby brits, drink. Everytime magnus snubbed western culture, drink. The losers of the argument had to chug a bottle of vodka. Needless go say no one remembers that night clearly. Now…

Ragnor waited until they had both started on their tea before bringing the topic back around. 

“how is he?” He asked. 

“quiet.” She replied. “passive. A surprising lack of worry for himself even by magnus’s standards. He didn't care at all that I had to cut out an infection from a long exposed vampire wound. Didn't even ask for a drink. Not once while he has been here. I've never seen him like this Ragnor. And you should have seen him last night, he had no idea that we had tried to visit. I'm worried.”

Ragnor closed his eyes as if in pain. Before visibly gathering himself “we'll get through this cat. Magnus will get through this “ 

“how could you know that Ragnor? I know Magnus is resilient. But…”

“I've seen him like this before. And he turned out okay then.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATES!!! 
> 
> shout out to the people commenting on this fic and thus reminding me that hey this is a thing I should be working on. And not starting a thousand new fics. 
> 
> As always nothing is edited and I haven't gone back and read this chapter even remotely. Rip my writing skills. 
> 
> Some of the stuff Ragnor says could be taken as victim blaming. Know that Ragnor isn't doing this at all , he's just so sick of people hurting his friend.

“what?” catarina demanded. Before immediately quieting down. “when have you ever seen Magnus this way? When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?”

The look Ragnor gave her, catarina almost classified it as pitying but his eyes held so much pain and sadness in them that it was impossible. Ragnor delayed answering to pour the tea. Catarina let him. Rude or not, she knew this would not be an easy conversation. And she needed a minute to contain herself. It wasn't important that neither of her friends told her about this. It wasn't. It wasn't. 

It wasn't. What was important was fathering as much information as possible to help. Approach this as you would a patient. Catarina told herself. He's just another patient. And other here to help him get better. That's all.

Ragnor eventually had the tea set to his liking, he sat drinking and thinking about how to start, and how much would he be able to catarina without breaking magnus's fragile trust. In the end, he didn't have much of a choice, once he started speaking the story just poured out of him. He had never shared it with anyone before, and he hasn't known until that moment how it had been burrowing into his soul and how heavy that weight truly was. 

“when we first met. Magnus was a scrape of a thing. Still terribly young.growing still. He would do anything the silent brothers commanded of him. He looked to them for permission to breath. I , naturally, intervened. Magnus only stayed with me for a short time afterwards. While he started out the same. Passive and guarded. After a time he became manic and guarded. Started to make a show of himself, especially in front of customers. Everything about him screamed look at me look at me look at me nothing wrong here, just a typical warlock thriving. Look at me but never ever see what I hide. “

“But something was wrong.” Catarina Interrupted. 

“yes. Magnus was , is, deeply hurting. The pattern was made and so it continues. Eventually Magnus would level off become less manic, less depressed. And then, despite my best efforts, he would meet someone, fall head over heels in love with them. And He would change himself, ripe out any part of his soul so that the person would give him attention for just another hour. And who ever it was this time would always demand more and more. Until Magnus was a hollowed out shell of himself. From what Magnus has told me they wouldn't become unbearably violent until that point. Most of the time. 

“unbearably violent?” cat repeated, unable to do anything but whisper the words. The horror of what they meant almost refusing to be processed in her head. Magnus…

Ragnor looked down at his tea. And continued to share every time he had picked Magnus up after another person stomped on his heart (and more often than not his body and mind too) and how each time Magnus went through a phase of passive, manic, depressed, and finally evening out but a little more guarded and broken each time only for it to happen again and again. It ended when, hours after talking, ragnors voice broke with a sob, and he barrier his face in his hands. 

“I don't understand cat. “ he croaked, “why can't Magnus see that these people want nothing but to hurt him. I ..i don't understand why he doesn't let me help him.”  
His frame racked with sobs. Catarina could feel her own silent tears trailing down her face. She shoved her chair back and quickly engulfed Ragnor in an embrace, holding him as he let it out. 

“I fear one day, Magnus won't come back. Hellbremain the shell of himself he always is after.” Ragnor confessed between sobs. 

Cat could see it. Her vibrant, extravagant, too caring friend turned into the passive silent mess that he was now. Over the years the memories disappearing, replaced with this husk. She was no longer sure if it was her frame or ragbors that shook them with sobs. 

“We won't let that happen. “ she promised. 

“I hope your right.” Ragnor eventually replied. 

So did she. So did she


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in the same month? Clearly I've been replaced by a demon. 
> 
> As always nothing is edited.
> 
> ....i just realized it's not October and not September. Woops

Magnus stepped back from the kitchen doorway and quietly (he was very good about being invisible when he wanted to. Didn't even need spells to disappear) shuffled back to his room. Magnus managed to hold together his spiraling thoughts until he slipped back under the heavy covers and pull them over his head. Clearly his friends hated him and thought he was an incompetent Idoit for letting people hurt him over and over again. He should probs my just leave now I stead of forcing his friends to suffer his presents any longer, but he just couldn't find the energy to do anything but lie under the covers, shaking, as his brain whispered thoughts he already knew to be true.  
////  
After a long crying session, Catarina pulled herself away from ragnor. Affer wiping her face and composing herself, catarina studied her friend. Ragnor was also composing himself. 

“Thank you for telling me.” catarina forced herself to choke out the words. It was an astounding amount trust Ragnor was showing her by telling her this. That they hadn't thought she deserved before now. Saying the words felt like stabbing herself.  
“I think,” she continued “that we could both use a shower and some rest. “ 

Ragnor gave her a tired nod. “I concur. See you for dinner?” 

Catarina nodded back and gave her friend a help out if the chair. Too tired and angry and upset to make fun of Ragnor’s stiff language.  
///////  
Ragnor sunk on to his bed, exhausted. He rested his head in his hands. As if to muffle more sobs but he was all cried out, completely exhausted. As if his very bones wanted to give up and turn to dust. As if such a thing would be a blessing. How many more times would this cycle repeat?  
////  
catarina locked herself in her bathroom and started the shower, trying to convince herself to act normal. This wasn't about her and she needed to keep her cool. Be objective. 

After ten minutes of unsuccessfully trying to calm her rage. Only to have to it grow and bubble inside her. Eventually catarina gave it and grabbed her water cup and threw it with all her might at the wall, letting out a scream she felt she had been holding in forever. Once she started, it was like she wasn't able to stop. A vague part of her, that was still ruled by logic hope desperately that the sounds of the shower would cover the sounds of her destruction. 

/////  
The shower did not cover the sound of Catarina’s destructive rage. At the first sounds Ragnor sat up straight before flopping back down on his bed and draping his arm over his face. Of course Cat wasn't taking the news well. Who could? The knowledge that her best friend had been  
abused off and on for hundreds of years had to be killing her. ...that and the fact that the knowledge was deliberately kept from her. Well. Her rage was to be expected. It still felt like his soul was breaking into chunks and desinigrating.  
/////  
Magnus curled into a tighter ball as the sounds of rage hit him. Shaking violently under the covers. He had messed up. Catarina was never angry. She must be extremely shamed to have been tricked into spending time with him at all. He needed to get up and leave. Get up. Get up get up. But his body won’t obey. It was like he was frozen in place. Catarina would be even more upset when she realized that he could have left when she wanted but didn't. 

Magnus felt the breath freeze in his lungs. But didn't bother to do anything about it, it would probably be for the best if he stopped breathing entirely. Maybe then catarina wouldn't be so angry.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer : I am not a psychologist nor have I ever experienced/had to recover from abuse. I'm sorry if something is wrong or if I write something offensive. Please let me do if I do and I'll change it.
> 
> Most of magnus's behavior is based on how passive he acted when he interacted with Camille in season 1.


End file.
